Just got home from a medical check up at an oncology clinic. Did the procedure again, with the doctor, and ultrasonography. Hurt like hell. The thing is getting bigger. Fast. Idk, i should pray more and feel a little fear or something, but i don't, which feels wrong. I feel like i'm too tired from all these things. This is my first time, and even once i thought that it must be scary for me to have someone cut open my skin and take a little part of my body and flesh and sew it back. Plus what if the Anesthetic doesn't work, either i wake up in the middle of surgery or i still half unsconcious and i feel the doctor put his hand inside my flesh and feel the pain, or my nerves won't relax and it ruins the process or what, please, i hope that will never happens. (Maybe that's just because i read too many creepypastas?) But say, what else can make me feel afraid? I must have been gone through the worse, and i should survive this surgery even though i'm not sure because i have issues with my health... wait, am i really ready to die? I'm just really tired. This is the worst midterms ever. I had an irritation. My skin and lips feel itchy. I'm having flu and sore throat. I'm just, tired. Tired of all. I don't know how to tell anyone at school if i skipped school from surgery, they will blame me either if i don't tell them, i only tell some, or tell them all. Yeah they basically make fun of everything and i don't trust them so i actually don't want to tell anyone at school. All of these thoughts make me restless and tired. You wouldn't understand that. I don't know what to do.
K i have to sleep because it's 11:01pm and i have school tomorrow bye