i spent this month crying everyday. i know i cry from time to time, but lately it’s almost like i don’t skip a dose of my daily surprise crying session.
i’ve always been interested in learning world history since i was a child. learned it formally in high school for three years. at the start of this war, i refrain from sharing any comment publicly because i know it’s sensitive. religion is involved, politic is involved, and like all sort of big historic events, many interests are involved. all i know is just i know only small pieces of information that layers the real truth of what’s actually happening. i don’t want to act too reckless.
having followed (and involved in) many humanitarian organizations and activism movement, the algorithm brought more and more news to me. i decided to follow some legitimate accounts to stay informed. i’ve learned the historical context, so i know this isn’t an “equal” war, this is an oppression. i kept my eyes on this specific issue while keeping myself updated too on domestic oppression cases happening all over my country through national activism channels.
at first, i only share posts in my smallest circle of friends. driven by the need to educate my closest ones, and just to ease my concern in general. some of them engaged with my posts and we discussed the matter too. i was totally aware there were some of my mutuals who support israel, and i saw how israel quickly did the propaganda (the hashtags were out there growing) calling hamas’ attack as “neo-nazis” or “second holocaust” (while… it could be kind of true to some extent, because there were casualties on israel sides too. civillians always be the victims in a war). i still want to provide a slight insight of what this colonialist has done in the past though, so that people don’t turn a blind eye to the reality on who’s the oppressed one: palestinians.
as impulsive and reactive as i am, i can’t stay silent in the face of injustice. i can’t stay silent at all with all the knowledge that i have. i decided to share some educative posts (delivered in neutral terms, but provoking enough to stand up for the oppressed) in my public stories. soft protest has always been my way of protest. i continued to share materials providing the socio-historical context of the situation through articles, podcasts, documentaries and book recommendations. also the law and human right perspective to the assault. none of my posts is intended to offend anyone, but it’s better if they do get provoked (hehe). thankfully, more and more and more of my mutuals show their support for palestine after.
but it’s getting harder to open instagram (the only social media platform that i use) because all i see everyday is beyond inhuman things. i won’t judge anyone who seemed silent by not sharing about this event. there are so many forms of support and resistance. we can share posts, speak about it with our closest ones, donate, boycott, make art and writings, etc. we just have to be brave to choose side [and in case of oppression, always choose the oppressed side!] and make small impacts one step at a time. and i understand that not everyone is comfortable to speak up even though they want to.
it takes courage and strong belief to take action, so i do have respect for everyone standing up for humanity. some risk their career to participate in rallies, withdraw themself from israeli-funded events/organization, etc. i know these are nothing compared with what palestinians have gone through, but some people actually show their support by fighting in their own way. the celebrities supporting palestine? they’re probably doing career suicide. the journalists, medics, and other volunteers in gaza? they’re risking their lives to keep the world informed, against the clownery that the israeli & western medias performed to spread disinformation. the no-ones who constantly share about palestine on a daily basis up until now? they’re risking their friendship. i hope they all are blessed with the strength to keep on sharing.
i watched more documentaries on palestine’s resistance this month. as much as it hurts me to see them suffer, their resistance always amazes me. i can’t not crying whenever i see people being oppressed, but their spirit refused to stop fighting. whether in the form of vandalism, social media posts, art, they kept protesting. sit-together in diplomatic course won’t do much for the oppressed because their voice don’t have as much power as the oppressor. they’ll get played again and again in the political world and there’s no other way for protesting other than the “rough” ways (said above). even if they don’t drop bombs and shoot a bullet, the oppressor will see anything that they do as disturbance/barbaric just because of one reason: because they’re seen as deserving to be oppressed, or worse, cleansed.
when you dig deeper into palestine, whether from books, documentaries, and other types of legitimate archives about them, i promise you’ll be moved. despite all the oppression they've gone through, they still managed to be the most resilience, literated, and wise nation i’ve ever known. their children, as much as i'm sorry this war is pushing their mental health beyond breaking point, is the bravest and most mature children i know (by living in constant survival mode, sadly). their children are being targeted in direct attacks (shot, bombed, missiled, grapeshot, punched, kicked, etc) as if they’re soldiers. it reminds me of my late grandpa’s saying, “all bullets have names” to comfort my grandma everytime he went to war (my grandparents lived through the colonization era and after, where the global & national military situation is far from stable). what he said means, if he was destined to die by a bullet, then so be it. but if he is not, no matter how much the enemy shot him, he’d survive.
it made me think. these children in gaza, they live with bullets, instead of birds and kites, flying around their neighborhood. they’re surrounded by so many bullets that might be destined to hit them. they’re the children who are destined to live through this all, they were born to suffer in this world. they’re probably never going to ever feel any peace on their lifetime. so [forgive me lord for what i’m going to say] i know those martyrs are promised the highest level of jannah, but i still don’t think they deserve all this hell on earth. no one deserves this much sufferings. i’m so sorry but this is just hard to accept.
i do understand that it’s hard for most people to feel uncomfortable seeing other people’s suffering when they’re surrounded by comfort and happiness. it can almost feel unreal to happen to other people. it’s easier to not think about it than to do so and feel sad afterwards, right? people have stuffs to do and take care of, like study, work, so... who got time for that? but for me, it’s as real as if i experience it firsthand. sometimes, even just waking up peacefully in my bed feels wrong and weird while a powerless nation is massacred in a genocide on the other side of the world. and i am a firm believer that no matter how small our act of care toward the oppressed, it can turn into a great help somehow.
but up until now, there’s not a sign that this is going to end soon. it just keeps getting worse and worse. the attack is escalating everyday, and i won't be surprised if this is going to be the start of another world war. opening instagram is so overwhelmingly depressing and frustrating now that all i see is a dystopian nightmares. i can’t imagine the collective trauma and depression that the rest of us will go through after seeing dead bodies, trembling children, bleeding teenagers, and all kinds of terror on a daily basis, while not being able to change anything. some of us do feel the hurt deeply, and we feel like failures letting this happen. we have failed those powerless people.
why is the attacking and disinformation not stopping? what makes it so hard for them to stop and for us to stop them? why are the most powerful people in the world the most inhumane ones? why are the torture and killings still happening despite half of the world protesting? why is it so hard for some to empathize with others? why is it so hard for people to set aside their ego & pride to own their mistakes? why is collonialism still a thing in this modern day? why do we have to constantly fight for justice and humanity? trust me, i know all the answer but i refuse to accept this cruel reality that we live in.
injustice is happening everywhere all the time. i know aborigins, sudans, congos, are fighting for their rights too right now. even if it happens everywhere, i still think the palestinians still deserve to be paid more attention right now. it;s only a matter of urgency (the prolonged oppression, the escalating attacks, the growing numbers of casualties, and the many interest involved in this). i don’t care about any socio-cultural background (gender, religion, race, etc). no people should experience oppression today. half the world lives in safe circumstances (not under discrimination/oppression/terror of any kind), and the rest should too. but i’m just stupid. no matter how many books and articles i read, seminars and lectures i attend, i still don’t understand why oppression still exists to this day. people with power will do all sort of selfish things to powerless people (the minority, the voiceless, the poor, the uneducated) to get what they want.
i never strayed too far from activism and volunteerism. my heart always belongs to the oppressed, the left-behinds, and the saviors. maybe it’s just me, but i always feel like (and i have always been taught this way) if i am educated, then i have the [moral] responsibility to educate other people. the principle is same for wealth and health. there is some sort of responsibility that comes with our privileges. the bigger the privilege, the bigger the responsibility. i know this doesn’t apply for everyone else, but from my experience, it costs me nothing to pay that responsibility because the more i give, the more i receive. and for me, doing something out of genuine care brings me more joy than when i do something for selfish goals.
so as i said as a commentary on noam chomsky’s speech about palestine (reposted on my story from ig: @/oldmanebro), the ugly truth is: money rules out world. knowing this, what’s the point of having so many people from around the world march, protest, and boycott if the governments and leaders (people in power who can actually make the decision) will never side with the oppressed?
- civil pressure is the first step in making social change (history has proven it so many times).
- protests and massive social media sharing helps spread awareness -> aspiration & sentiments leads to more people to be moved -> leads people to act -> leads to bigger chance of social change.
- by sharing the truth, we fight the disinformation and false propaganda by the oppressor -> weakens one of the weapons that they have to attack and silence the oppressed.
- by being the “voice of the powerless” we bring unity and solidarity -> helps to ease hopelessness in the face of injustice -> helps to give strength for the oppressed so that they know they don’t fight alone.
- siding the oppressed eases moral guilt as a bystander at the very least. all of this is a chain reaction that can only made happen by individuals. everyone has the choice to act, everyone has the chance to make change, and all people have power.
right now it’s hard to have faith in humanity. but i believe, and i'm trying so hard to believe, that justice will be done as the law of the universe. as much as i'm so heartbroken to see them suffer, i don’t pity the palestinians anymore, they’re granted freedom once they leave this world. and i respect them so much for bringing the people into solidarity, by showing this world an unshakable humanity. all races, all nations, all religions, choose to come as one (this is so empowering, and giving me hope). they're the ones who saves us from division and ignorance. they inspire us and they taught us that there’s beauty in this resistance. i hope all the victims alive are given the strength and abundant sabr, and the dead died as martyrs and granted jannah. we won't stop resisting, and they will win, whatever the end result is. they have won since the beginning.
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