i'm going to show you how much i love blogging

if you scroll down to the end of this blog, you'll see that on 2017 i reverted all my posts into draft. yes, i've been blogging since around 2011. my first blog was tumblr and i had a great time playing with the html. but here let me share my other blogs and expose myself to the whole internet. i'm cut for you all to see but i don't mind. i want to share my authentic self to the world. so here's the list:

rebirth: detachment

of what worth is this dunya, when you have to let go of everything?

nothing.
it's worth nothing.

pesan tengah malam

di malam-malam itu,

ada yang memanggil-manggil khawatir,

ada yang bisu menelan getir.

tapi cinta tak hanya bisa diungkapkan dengan kata,

ia bisa berupa harapan,

asa.

juga doa yang dimohonkan pada sang maha esa.

saat menyembah, saat menghamba.

saat pikir berkelana dan kalbu gundah gulana.

gandhari

hampir seperempat abad kau hidup di sisiku,
baru belakangan ini aku menyadari kehebatanmu.

rasa sayangku tak pernah berubah,

syukur pun tak henti kuucap,

tapi rasa kagum luput dari ruang di hatiku.

samar

aku berharap pada tuhan

agar kau jangan jadi dangkal,

tapi tuhan menjadikanmu sedalam lautan.

aku tidak bisa menyelam.

racau paradoksikal

Kupeluk tubuhku erat saat ruh semangat melayang dengan gontai meninggalkan raga yang tak berdaya ini. Bertahanlah, kata yang dirapalkannya berulangkali, terdengar semakin menjauh. Ruangan menjadi temaram seiring satu-satunya kobaran api harapan yang tersisa meredup.

Book Reflection: "As Long As the Lemon Trees Grow" by Zoulfa Katouh

This novel is one of those novel that is hard to read. It makes my heart heavy. The story is set in 2011-2012 Syrian Civil War, where Salama is one of the survivor of the cruel dictatorship.